Once upon a time on the animal planet it was every creature's ambition to fight until death. If they won they would receive hundreds of pounds worth of thorium (their currency). Though there were many things to buy, all of the warriors bought only the things that would win a fight. For a long time the battles were equally matched.
But things changed when three champions arose named: Sheep Li Fu, Boarhide Trader Pigus, and the best of them all, Spawn Ike Darkerie. Although Sheep Li Fu was unarmed he had martial arts skills better then any other. He was a short white sheep with a terrible temper and if he thought some body cheated, that somebody would never see the light of day again. Boarhide Trader Pigus carried a funny looking enchanted rake, got free magic spells because of his long lasting friendship with a little fat kid who had an unknown name, and Pigus wore a stupid metal skirt. Spawn Ike Darkerie was a fully armored wolverine who carried a fully automatic machine gun and a soul taking scythe. Many tried to defeat these champions and were: crushed, destroyed, vanquished, knocked out of the universe, or decimated.
Things were terrible until a Squirl had baby named Squeakius. One day Squeakius's dad called him a wimp. Squeakius raged out of control and nearly killed him. In fact he would have killed him if not deciding to kill Mr. Shiver the ice cream man instead. Two months later he got sent to little death (the junior arena) where he met the three champions kids. The champions kids taunted Squeakius and as punishment Squeakius completely decimated, vanquished, and destroyed them. Squeakius killed everybody he fought in little death.
Finally when Squeakius turned twelve he was sent to fight Sheep Li Fu. At the battle the crowd was the largest it had been in a thousand years. Squeakius and Sheep Li Fu calmly waited for the judge to say go. Finally the moment came and the second the judge said, "Go!" Sheep Li Fu did a flying ninja kick that almost always hit the opponent somewhere. With a proud and devious look he waited for the sound of death.
Unfortunately for him Squeakius stepped to the side and Sheep Li Fu crashed in to the wall and split his head open. Bored to death, Squeakius grabbed Sheep Li Fu by the neck and threw him out of their galaxy and to this day nobody knows where he is. Squeakius took his thorium and challenged Boarhide Trader Pigus. Because Squeakius had defeated Sheep Li Fu, Pigus accepted.
When the match started Pigus tried smashing Squeakius. Squeakius simply grabbed the rake, hit him in the privates to distract him and then cut his head off. Squeakius left the arena and found Spawn Ike Darkerie glaring at him. To Darkerie's surprise Squeakius wasn't scared. Squeakius deviously grinned back and said "I've been looking for you I'm glad you've come to get decimated".
Then Darkerie said with a gangster accent "My boys have been destroyed and it's you're fault. It's time to die!" and shot his machine gun 20 times. Squeakius ran over and pulled Darkerie's pants down to make him mad. With a roar of laughter, Darkerie tried punching him. Squeakius ran up his arm and poked him in the eye ten times. Darkerie now could not see. So Squeakius took his gun and shot him in the heart.
The warriors rejoiced. Until they realized things were still the same only now Squeakius was the champion.